Know anyone who spends a lot of time in front of a screen? Our whole team does. Since you’re reading this online, there’s a good chance you do too. How much effort do you put toward balancing that with in-person social time?
There’s been a fair amount of discussion in recent years on the effect of so much screen time on one’s mental and emotional health. Whether or not you spend much of your day on a screen, a lack of real-life social connection can lead to feelings of loneliness, atrophied social skills, and diminished ability to build relationships, not to mention negative physical health effects.
If you’re not relating to this, remember how coming out of the pandemic was a bit awkward? Many of us had replaced our real-life social interactions with time online connecting with others. When we finally ventured out in person, things got a little weird. Maybe your formerly confident self reverted back to feeling like you’re trying to find someone to sit with in the cafeteria, or you just didn’t have much to say after exhausting the topic of the pandemic in a conversation. Or maybe you were exhausted by even a short conversation. Perhaps you were so starved for connection that you dominated conversations. Maybe you found yourself more easily annoyed by strangers out in public. What was your experience?
At Hop, and perhaps for you too, immersing ourselves in our screens to solve problems can be fulfilling and mentally stimulating. Online meetings and messaging are necessary (and with intention, can be enjoyable!) elements of making progress on projects and staying connected as a team. But we’re still humans, right? And humans are wired for real-life social connection.
Social media is not a substitute. Video calls get us part-way there, but still lack many non-verbal cues, eye contact, the potential for moving around, spontaneity of conversations, sharing a common atmosphere, and so on. Online interactions such as these can be sneaky – they seem to provide the social connection you’re missing but don’t deliver the mental, emotional, and physical health benefits of in-person experiences.
We need to spend time in the same room with people, having real-life interactions.
I’m a remote worker on a fully remote team, and I’m not advocating for a return to the office. Remote work has so many perks, and as an introvert, a quiet workday at home suits me just fine. But I recognize that I need to find ways to be with people now and then to feel balanced. If I don’t, I may find myself becoming more easily stressed out, or just start to feel bored with myself. Being with other people expands who we are, through their stories, their connections, their ideas. This is enhanced in person, consciously and subconsciously, through a full awareness of, and connection to, another within a shared environment.
Think of the last real-life social interaction you had – what did that experience bring to your life? Maybe it was small, but there was something that had an impact on you, something that you wouldn’t have experienced solo. Even a seemingly random encounter can turn out to be significant. Interactions may feel wonderful or awful or anything in between, but they always offer us an opportunity for growth.
We evolve through our real-life experiences with others. And others do the same with us.
Pre-2020, back when Hop called Atlanta home, we hosted a monthly ML Study Hall event. It was awesome. We provided the drinks, and a wide range of folks came out, from those curious about machine learning to seasoned ML practitioners. Some people brought laptops to collaborate on problems with others, we brought ML books to share, many folks just socialized. It grew to be a well-attended event, alive with curiosity and enthusiasm. The only structured element we aimed to bring to each gathering was a round of “Each One, Teach One”, in which we’d go around the room having each person share something they were looking to learn and something they would be willing to teach another. This led to some fruitful connections and brought depth to what could have become just another networking event.
ML Study Hall at Georgia Beer Garden
We tried to convert study hall to an online version during the pandemic, but it just wasn’t the same. On Zoom, it was often either one person dominating the “room”, or folks tripping over each other in trying to say something, or feeling like we lost the rest of the crowd in splitting up into breakout rooms. Even in playing with platforms like Gather that allow more fluid movement between different conversations, the experience felt somewhat stiff and forced. Attendance fizzled, and we eventually stopped doing it.
We haven’t revived ML Study Hall, but we’ve retained the spirit of it in an event we’ve now hosted the last two years at CVPR – with “Founders, Freelancers, & Friends”, we bring entrepreneurially minded folks together in a purely social context, provide some prompts to spur conversation, and let the magic happen. Collaborations are sparked, resources are shared, mentors are found, friends are made. People are engaged, and the room buzzes with energetic connections. With hundreds of attendees at these events, it’s “Each One, Teach One” at scale. Without the in-person context, it wouldn’t be as effective. A handshake and eye contact with the person in front of you trigger the release of oxytocin, amongst other hormones, which functions to build trust and goes a long way toward building a relationship.
Fun connections at “Founders, Freelancers, & Friends”
Screen time will continue to be a part of modern life for many of us, and technology does offer so many benefits in our day-to-day living, including social connection opportunities that wouldn’t be possible without it. However, awareness of its limitations and downsides, as well as our fundamental need for real-life connection, is key to staying healthy. There are many online social platforms and tools vying for your attention – use them with wisdom, and then step away to meet someone face-to-face.
— Sarah Andrews, Operations Manager @ Hop